Haiz... everytime start the word with haiz... dunno what to say .... People in my family i jus hate them..... how i wish i can really distorts with them especially my sis... She dont understand me at all
NO.... never... She just know how to "step yi ge" only.... she was also like kinda busybody which is i dont like... She most of the times wanna interferring my converasation with my mother... so busybody i mean yea at times i m like talk at my loud of my voices but so... although it irritates her but she could jus listen out of it i jus dont like it when sum1 inteferring it.... argh!! i jus dont the feeling of that.... Hmfff.... If i really have the money..... i mean really lots i will move out of the house or i will go out of country like taiwan to breath in fresh air..... jus dont wanna stay in this home... they dont really talk to me, what i do is jus an eyesore to them... i mean what is this?? i m like been hurting though.... no.. i dont wanna this kind of feeling... so sad... my sis keeps telling my mother say i have illness ask me go see doctor... i mean physiatrist....i dont seem i need do.. but the reason why she says that is becoz i m been a nuisance in the house and she dont like it... she dont wanna me to raise voice at my mother...
And sometimes i do thing improper i mean like when things dont go my way i jus been getting angry for example.. if my pc spoiled or the connection kinda stuff i will like u know threw things around and what i really dont like was if middle of the night when things happen which is the pc down or so.. i made create voice yea i know i m disturbing but thats the way i m i just cant control myself and yea parents came in but if my sis interrfering i will like getting moer angrier and i was like quarrel with her wanna threw things kinda stuff... i mean when sum1 angry u dont go and provoke it but she was like u know keeps coming though it was my mistake for doign that but if i were her i will jus keep quiet manz...
Really... ppl in my family things i m ke siao or mad aready but i m not OK?? why was it me?? why do they wanna blame me.. i was like wtf?? i dont live in this agonying world... I really wanna be all alone... jus all alone... where no 1 hears me... had lots of money(kinda in my dream) then do watever i want i mean like staying in a house all alone.. do watever i want.. peacfully... then giv money to my mother every month kinda stuff... but watever it is no ones... no ones really knows my feeling until i tell them... no ones ever know what ami thinking.... they jus think that i m u kno wthat kind of person(sheng jing you wen ti) de person.. but I M NOT.......
heart kinda pain very pain... How i wish i wouldnt live in this world then no 1 will care abt me... i would rather jus died rite?? hmm....i really dunno what i should do..... wanna cry liao but cant cry out coz i really feel the pain inside me manz....
sniff....(0_-) how i wish they really can understand me what i feel what i think everything and not go round telling people that "my son bla bla bla" or " my brother did this and that kinda stuff" is that wat sister do?? i dont think so... so sad... kinda hurts... really hope i dont have a sister... really....
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