I HATE THIS FEELING!!

Well yesterday morning i went to work but the day before friends told me to wear as civillian clothing to work for team building for yesterday....(dont get it nvm) Then i went to my station yesterday was like 8:35am in the morning....
After which i ask my friend around what is team building , they told me that its bowling then i was like issit?? um...okie... i can kinda trained for it...hehe
Then we all gathered around like 9:10am and abt 9:15am we set off to bukit batok club for bowling.... We were playing there the whole day since 9:30am until 3:30pm kinda cool huh... then abt 4pm we leave the place i mean we all go back from there....
Haiz... the funs finally all over....
Days ago, i went to meet allan at this venue to talk about my problem aka "xin shi"... then went i reach his area coz i need to cross the road to the opposite and take bus to reach destination but then while crossing i almost had this accident coz i m listening to cellphone song then there was this bus never knocked down me but instead the driver honned me.... yea of coz i did giv a signal to apologised...
Nevertheless as i m thinking why the bus never knocked me down why must he honned me... how i wish i landed in hosptial or mayb leave the world..(yea it sounded kinda stupid but what else u wanna me to say)
I really do wish i can dont stay in my home coz members in my family(exclude my mum) they dont really want me, i feel that they hate me as i m thinking if i die, sum1 in the house will feel sad and my sis will feel happy at abt it...yea they never think that but u r not their brains u dont know what they think or feel... u cant tell me everything.... i m soo sad in here i really do wish if i can stay out i really wanna stay out and find a house...no 1 know where i leaves other then my parents(she)... i really hate her soo much...jus soo much
Jus because genertaion gap and we dont click we dont share anything even if sumtimes wanna share things with her i might not wanna say coz i m really wondering if she really treats me like her brother.... idk... sumtimes i really do feel like dying but watever i think abt this i erm feel a pain in me... >.< (sob sob) really feel bad... haiz (dont feel scared after reading)

Byte This

Wat should i going to to write huh?? Pfff....
These few days i have been whining and whining abt wat is inside the present.... People wants me to stay in the darkness and look into the darkness without knowing anything well okie... let's be it.... i m always been in the darkness well mayb i should have continue the way it is, isnt that good?? People do set goals and target and what abt me?? No goals and target, jus going through one step at a time...not that i dont wanna set it, but jus that i wasn't sure how am i able to set it and not easy for me to do it....
A new year is coming nearer and nearer, wonder whats gonna happen through a brand new year..haiz.... Been thinking and worrying about whats going to happen the next day, the day after and kinda stuff.... i have lots of "心事" in me... there are things which i dun wanna say abt it not to mention what was it but its too personal.....
Many things or stuff that i have been repeating and repeating though the listener have been felt irritating kinda stuff but i m like dunno wat to write abt it and what i know was she told me that the mcos got on newspaper and on >[] news and i was like um.. kinda curious and wanna know more..... so i m like wants her to cut out the article and send me bah but coz i dun have it so... i doubt she might giv it to me or mayb n0t i guesss..... Anyway thanks for ur chocolate, it was quite nice but in return i own u 2 presents for u which is this year and next year and after which we dont own any1 a things....
Perhaps this might be my last few post, i sussposed mayb not anymore idk... mayb i jus regret thing had happened around me if can i wanna changed it (yea i know it cants and i m not say it and i m jus say it)
hiaz... i think thats all for today and the post here coz i sensed that people finding me frustrating and mayb annoying i guess....
well i jus end it for today...
** >[] <--- TV

Do i have to be in this way??

Wondering what have been this happening to me??
Why people have to keep sumthing from people even if it is the slightest stuff they haven have to keep it?? Why?? Yea i wanna know what was it but why dont they jus say it??? i mean if it is the kind of sutff which really shouldnt let people know, well thats fine... i wont force it but the fact is.....its jus some kind of small item and why does it have to keep it like no1 else know... i really dont understand it..... i jus dont wanna peole talking bad stuff behind my back ya know.... haiz....
Really been wondering what do they did this to me or mayb was it at my fault?? Or all this shouldnt been happening or a "Restart"(yea i knw its kinda impossible) but then dotn hide things from me if i ask it... i really dont feel like keeping it in a darkness.... Its not kinda annoying(mayb u does) to know what was it but the least i mean it doesnt mean like once u say it its gonna be end of the world or sumthing?? thats not it.... Been finding out, its kinda frustrating, keep thinking... no thats not what i really want....jus let me know and thats it,isnt it difficult???
People around us have been betraying, backstabbing omg... i wonder if really all this could have ended, idk....
I really been thinking after all this years after all this happening, why am i brought to this world?? All the quarrls, all the beating, all the fun, all the problems that i m facing i mean i really tired....being myself to be out of control, being violence, throwing stuff ard.... sumtimes i really dont wanna be in this way, actaully its all becoz of "HIM" that i follow his footstep...
Friends telling me dont blame people for wat u did, u have your thinking, you know whats right and wrong but the fact is if "HE" does the thing that not sussposed to do it why cant i?? Yea u might think thats kinda stupid or mayb other words that u replaced it... If all this wasnt happening, how i wish i wasnt here, how i wish i doesnt step into this very world or mayb..................... :=\
I jus been eondering why do i have few friends while other have lots?? mainly was it becoz of my attitude or my ways responding to people... dont tell me all this time for one to changed i m jus doesnt know how to handle to make it changes in myself... Mayb i need to be alone coz i really kinda very vexed at it.... (sob sob)

What a Day!! What a Night!!!

Many things happened throught the day before christmas, it all jus happend on me... i had an old mp3 yet the frimware error had spoiled and it cant be repaired then i bought a new mp3 which totally like screwed up coz difficult to use but the seller at creative told me easy to use omg i jus hate and i get fed up with the device coz couldnt get the stuff i want and i was like smashed the LCD screen and it broke it argh!!!! Dont be too frightened coz mayb i m like kinda violence kind i guess hope u dont change your mindset abt me.... coz certained things which i dont wanna turn out that way but i m jus out of control to myself.....haiz.....

Alright... yesterday morning woke up like 6am.. then yea dragged until abt 7:30am and i m like getting ready to go for work, until 8am then i rushed out of house to go for work...
haiz... its the day where the SCH(Singapore Conference Hall) takes place....
Firstly, i m actually abt thinking half day leave but then again i m like having 2 chioce... either i stay until 5:30pm then i rushed from Clementi to home then to Raffles or taking half day leave but then after much consideration i take an half day leave... woohoo...
Then i reach home like 2:10pm then leave the house like 5:15pm to meet allen...
Yea i errm kinda 4get to tell u that i take half day leave la coz i tell "her" that i rush here and there mah... it isnt that i told a lie but jus that 4get to tell "her" but after all yea back home early and meet allan then after which we go lau pa sat to take a light dinner hehe before gg to S.C.H
And after which we finally reached the venue (finally, its time)

Then me and allan was waiting at 2nd floor to meet "her" and was like minutes later she scared me from behind omg.... so sad.... :( haha then its around 7:30-7:45pm, we went in to the hall and was like wow... kinda spacious area and the hall was like kinda big infact...
Then abt 8-8:15pm the president came.... then aafter the whole concert Finally started...
The studnets there were many and i can see many intruments there whcih i seldom see it b4 wow... it was an open for me (da kai yan jie) manz hmm... i was seated there and every1 so silent abt the concert and listened it peacfully...
The first song they place was "the lion"... wow it was so damm nice luckily i never missed it phew... another music piece call "jasmine flower" that was jus okie....

About 9pm time for intervals... and was like so short 15 mins onli..... haiz then "she" came and talk to us loh like really awhile feel like 30sec to 1 min bah after which get back inside le which is after intervals and wow the muisc damm nice and suit me too coz after intervals was "super mario" music then after "To Zanarkand" that is the master piece of Final fantasy X
it was sooo nice... woohoo.... and lastly the song call "Barbie Girl" , they played it beautifully...
The final last piece of the music they called it "The Lengend of the Dragon", that song was played very long it feel to me like it lasted 15 mins.....

Yeah it was like hell of a night!! What a concert night!! Congratulation Helin, u played well though i might not know where it go wrong.... but i know u give it your best shot!!!
Hope the day never ends it continues the way it is....
What a extravanganza concert, beautiful music, great time
Cheers MCO!!!!
What a Night at Singapore Conference Hall
WHAT A NIGHT!!! CHEERS!!!!

So Bored...

I think i m like so bored in my life.... everyday had the same routine kinda tired i mean yea who dont tired...jus that i slept late at night and wake up like soo early haiz life so meaningless for me... -.- well though i blogging like jus a little bit here coz i really dunno wad to say here.... Actually in National Serving (NS), i mean its not sumthing that i wanna do, its sumthing that i have to do... People have been peeping thru my blog (i did not mention names) which sum1 i dont really like haiz.... sadden moments now and then people set goals, targets while i m like nothing in life kinda emo here and here dunno what i should do.... i m like trying to find sumwhere to keep walking down the alsie like very meaningless all the way... matters jus keep coming and find it difficult to avoid.... I m totally lost in my direction of my way and the distance to it......

What a day!!!

Haiz... finally saw sum1 blogging and finally i m blogging now at this time and its 20 mins to midnight... I saw sumthing that i really couldnt believe it with my eyes, when i saw it i was lke omg... freak hell (What issit la??) i saw my malay friend whom is in my office then he show me sumthing that....(dun waste time la, faster say la) that his PSP can use windows vista and i m like OMG!! FREAK!!! stun!! i m really couldnt believed it though he show me... and he was like wow wonder how he does it.. ( Can dont say twice?? Boring leh) Then my days was like haiz kinda bored (Of coz la!! Boring story of coz bored la!!) Then tomorrow six of my people are going fishing, actually i m going de but then i told them i dun wan to go so i change with sum1 else lo then i bought new phone lo kaoz... was like kinda difficult to use manz... argh i hate it... then also bought a bluetooth headset also... wao hard to use on n95 lo... i want to use my bluetooth headset but cant use on my N95... only can use on my N85..... argh.....
Omg.... stupid phone with stupid headset.... ARRRGGGHHH
He told me one bluetooth headset can paired with 2 phone end up cant and wth....
Freak!!!!! ><
( )--Narrator

Then for the thousand in Attendance??

Haiz... today kinda bit sleepy in the afternoon as i m in the station like nothing to do... kinda slacking... but then i alway met with these particular nemesis... He was kinda mean....
Who did he think he was?? he was like jus promote to corporal weeeks ago and he was like so um.. acting so big that he was the greatest, he think he was so great that he can bully the lower intake... He is jus being too proud manz...
Then early in the morning check my bag at the sentry for nothing, any how manz... kaoz plz lah your have nothing better to do issit?? yea though its fro securtiy reason but why mine?? stupid..
Days jus keep passing day by day and i m having my service already a year le.. haha i m happy manz... One more year passed and i m finsihed yay... pfff
kinda less but that the bits yea... so.. thats all folks...

What is this happening??

When comes to bloging always had to crack brains.... have to think what to write so troublesome.... Days passed so far and its already like going to be a year for me in service le..
Many things jus happened.... Sometimes jus had a hard feeling like thinking back time or bad memories... All of us had secret...we jus dont wanna tell...
Its been a week since my friends flies off to beijing and its like another 5 more weeks for him to come back and i m like so bored without him asking me out coz was like kinda rot at home... u know not jus play but sometimes will get the "sian" feeling of not going out...
I have another friend who told me that next tuesday(2nd december08) it was like wow, so fast... everything jus happened so quick that i wasnt aware of it... People do make mistakes i mean human makes mistakes rite?? Well... i m jus woundering wat if i could turn back in time, how i wish i can stop all this from happening that wasnt sussposed to be happening....
Haiz... why was it that people always watch my story or watch it secretly and how am i able to wacth people story secretly?? People whom always been backstab me... why?? i mean its like it happen like ages ago why still wanna bring it up?? Friends in station talk to me sumtimes giving me attitude and why it is so?? i mean like cant they talk properly?? They think they are who they are?? This is so unfair manz... Hmffff...Wonder is this kind of people i met?? how i really wish i can be alone i mean really alone.... coz i cant find a gf yet but mayb becoz of what i m like that kind of attitude or so...idk its jus mulling all over me...
Somethings that i wish for will never happen in me... if it could really happen that i had a trueful gf thats a miracle... kinda weird rite??
I m wondering how am i going to spent my days, time and life all this while, how long does it last or how long does it gonna end??
If all this can be all over again, i might changes for the better.... jus missed the days that i had... haiz.....

Stay In Singapore

In Singapore, the majority of us live in Highly Dangerous Building (HDB)

And most people have already got used to Paying and Paying (PAP).

Not only do you have to pay, you Pay Until Bankrupt (PUB).

If that's not enough somebody still Purposely Wants to Dig (PWD) and gets more from you.

So what more can you do when you are in the Money Only Enviroment (MOE)?

With the Mad Accounting System (MAS), your are forced to Pay the Sum Ahead (PSA), which will leave some people Permantely Owning Some Banks (POSB).

And forced to leave on the Loan Techniques Always (LTA) system.
When you fall sick and happens to be admitted to a Money Operation Hosptial (CPF) fund.

If you are out of luck, you may meet doctors who Never Use Heart (NUH).

To help ease the traffic, motorist have to pay Cash On Expresway (COE).

If that doesn't help they can always Eternally Raise Prices (ERP) on the roads.

If you dont own a car, you can always make a Mad Rush to the Train (MRT) OR get squashed in a bus Side by Side (SBS).

Lastly under all these pressures, there are not many places we can relax, not even the good old place we used to go because it has become So Expensive and Nothing To See Actually (SENTOSA)!!

So sad.... People Fly

At last i fully recover my illness... and today i m soo tired why coz wake up early...
help friend book a cab then very luncky lo.. went out house bus jus miss infront of me when i try to cross the roads then i had to ran to the next bustops lo... wao... very sianz... then after which go friends house take his lauggage and fetch his gf then to airport... very sleepy but then i endure all the way... then i wake up very early like 6am then leave house like 6:45am then reach friend house like 7:05am then reach airport like 8:45am... kinda sleepy at that time...
then we all had burger king breaksfast at there lo... after which friend went inside the gate like 11:10am... haiz....once he go, it will be 6 weeks... so sad....
he was kinda clumsy lo....why?? coz he mix the money with china money and singapore money and i was like huh wat the hell ?? even his gf also like so mad at him then sumore he puts all the china money all in one wallet as in like he in beijing rite, he will take all whatever he has... wao... he like that not scare people steal meh... (-.-) wao... but then overall i m like soo sad that he fly then next week another friend fly to asutralia from his air base.... then after which another gal friend flies too then another fly to hk... haiz why so many people flies de... then i also fly in anpther 4 yrs time i guess... yea its kind along from now but think again, yi zuan yan very fast de.... it will be 4 years le...
then after that i went back home then take my ps 3 go bugis and ask for replacement but then end up it didnt but the least i learn sumthing from there... then wao yesterday sum1 me talking on phone so loudly.... wao... very awkards loh argh!!!! Then after that from bugis back home then after which go take my playstation 3 again to IMM sony style to ask about the HDMI....
i learn something from there too... should i say i learn quite some stuff from the sony staff haha...
Anyway i m like sooo tired jus sooo tired and i meed a couple of rest omg... i m like totally not enuff of resting i mean i m really super tired... zzzzz
and i was susspoed to go barber today but then no time.... haiz...
I think thats all for the day....
hmmff... if time can turn back... wat would u do???

I bought something

So bored... yesterday afternoon(saturday, 11/15/2008) i went to bugis to buy Ps 3... yea kinda happy for me... but after all i mean i spent quite a huge money on it coz it kinda really expensive like 600++... some may feel happy when they bought it but for me..... abit la huh... haiz.. then yesterday went out with friends to eat yuki yaki...woohoo quite nice... the food very nice leh.. hehe then get to eat some food that i want haha... but spent a total of $106 bucks... argh.... so expensive but overall okok la... happy mah enjoying... Then after which we and my three friends went to kovan -_-''' guess wat?? go there to see his gal ex gf... more super sianz and he say until the gal like very chio then end up like "step yi ge" or can go jump liao haha then after got another gal come out after doing her manicure le... also another 1 also can jump liao... coz also not so nice why?? coz they smoke de... then 20 mins later another gal pop out...(last 1) also can go jump liao... which means all join hand and together jump already.... haha.... i mean its ture loh... wao he say until very chio lo but all end up really can go jump liao lo...
somemore when reach rite, the gal ask where we went to eat mah then my friend that know the gal say yuki yaki... then after that the gal reply say " oh oh i know chee bye(opps) i eat before" i was like haha er... okie she ate b4 cb(cheebye) equals to (pussy :P) haha then my friend say "yah i know u taste before, i never mah" haha... now then i know she eats b4 haha.....
actually rite all of them smoke lo... and was like abit "lian" loh... haiz.....
but then again overall the gal looks okok lah though abit fat lo... but hor i really can go bang myself to wall liao lah... haha...:P
Dont see me write it out really happy hor... actually not yet... why coz i didnt really had a happy life i mayb back to square 1 i mean "that" kind of feeling... i mean those really know me know ah hah......... that day promise people that i will go write de but then end up i nv coz i lazy hehe but its true la haha

Is this a New Beginning??

Um.. yea been said than wanna write on to it but it took so long to write it now...
yay... my illlness finally like 99.9% recovery, thats good for me.... People alwasy tells me always think on the bright side but how?? i mean i am like totally lost.. i really like dunno what u should at all... days getting faster and quickier coz i had my 1 week leave and it jus went over the 4 days jus like that.. its like a brink of an eye... pfff...
3 days ago i accompany allen to hosptial then while waiting for him sitting outside is saw my superior... omg... now then i know why he always not in station... actually he was with his families members lah i mean ya la family important but then if he taek leave like nobody business... haiz... anyway nvm....not my stuff...
um...kinda bored so sianz during the wee hours and thought of buying playstation 3 but kinda expensive leh.... actually i have the enuff money to bought it BUTA either no free game or prices are not really accepted.... kinda bored like HELL manz.... argh!!! Time wait for no man and we had to use it and spent it wisely before it end the day so treasure everyday u had adn try not to waste it...

What is this??

I m wondering what is this going on?? Things happen in a quick time...i m like been sick since last friday till now...i was like having flu and bad cough and for now at least cough had been better.... thats okie...
And earlier on after i reach home things screw up... my phone was like hang which i dont like it and i was like so frustrated and so pissed off with the phone... its not the first time...Argh!!! Hate it... when i bought itm, the seller says it doesnt hang much and was like yea yea wat if it hang?? ARGH!! cmon.. yea i m whining abt the phone(N95) but i thought sussposed to be perfect but yet this things happen?? Wat the hell??? i cant tolerate this anymore and it affect my mood when things goes wrong... And thats the bottom line.....
Pfff.... really dont want the things to be the way it isnt need to be manz... and plss stop watever things that does not relevant to U.....(and giv a hell YEA) Any stuff that screw up my day, it jus affect my moods......

Big Day????

Alright i will start off with wat happened today...
today wake up so damm early for freaking hell breakfast like 7:40m coz last this late morning i slept for abt 3:15am.. kinda rite rite?? haiz... those know me de will know why lah hah, no nid to explain further...then after which i keep awake until 11:00am then i go back to sleep until abt 12:50pm coz my friend call to like disturb me ask me stuff like i still sleeping arh then kinda stuff... everytime jus call to ask and talk crap...wao....(烦到我)
okie then after that i wake up like abt 2:15pm then go out of the house like 3:55pm to meet Allan.. sussposedly to be 3:45pm de but something crops up in com so haiz...
then after which me and him went for "lunch" then after that went to friend's bday buffet at.....(secret) hehe... then i went there quite early like 5:50pm as the event start at 6:30 mah then after which play his com and pc hehe kinda fun actaully... yeah.. then abt 10:30pm was abt to leave the bday guy friend house bah then mayb gg somewhere else mayb meet friend for bowling or mayb gg friends house bah i guess.... yawwwnnnn kinda tired still... haiz.... yea i think thats all for the day as rite now as the time allocated was at my friend house using lappy mmm so yea..

Wat u want???

Wao... Super tired manz.... sussposdly not taking half day leave de.. then my friend la... wao ask me take half day leave go hta(home team academy) to buy polo tee and singlet....
Then he screw up everything lo... he was on mc and wanna go there but before that he said that he promised to go inside de.... but he faked me lo... he reach there liao dun wan to go in...then say wat scared his superior call him, but he was already outside wat and wats the different if he goes in anot... wat the freak lah... he was already outside, even his superior call his house his parents will pick up and kind of stuff wat... ask ppl to accompany him to go to hta but then never go in and say scared coz of mc scared they check and i told him they never touch his item or cards and i guess he was like disbelif......wat the hell is this?? Bluft me go there from west area(Jurong) all the way to cck.. wao... kinda irritating manz... sucks lah.... ARGH!!! i told him i accompany him go inside he also dun wan.. ARGH!!! Donno what the hell is he thinking manz....

What the Hell??

Argh!!!! I hate it... Early in the morning wake up forgot to charge my cellphone and i was sussposed to set both my phone for alarm clock during last night but i had forgotten... ARGH!!! Then nvm... kinda rushing to work kinda tired when alright nothing really happened in the morning then til about 5-6pm there's this freaker... jus want to disturb me, to me he was a unlucky person to me... argh
Then when i went back home in the bus... arrrrrghhhh i was like omg sleep in the bus until there this certain stop i wake up but thats okie coz i thought i m like a few stops away then i went back to sleep again then when i wake up the 2nd time...OMG!!! WAT THE HELL?? i ended up in bus interchange.... and i was sooo mad that i wasted my time.... haiz....

People are Bad...

kinda so bored at work.. feeling sleepy... think they are jus cpl and they can jus bosting around.. what is this?? using ppl?? freak hell... who do he think he is?? he is also serving the same thing as me manz... yea i did say that he pick on me as i jus said said only... nevertheless he was like u know really into the game.... he really wanna start this off with me yea i cant do anything to him so what?? dont like me find traps for him manz... thats not the way for him to boasting around with me... Argh... To me he is jus an ant that i step on it or worse i burnt the "Ant" alive... jus getting hate him thats all.....

Times

Really dunno what should i do... today gg out with friends to eat yuki yaki.... it was kinda nice and delicious food but its worth it though it was kinda expensive u know.... um...yea... but then after which i sussposedly should have fun... but then things crop up...was kinda hate it coz of one ez-link that had to borrowed her... wth and i thought she could really come down but then she did not she was like telling me that her friend parents wouldnt let.... haiz.. bluff me go there from city hall to yishun jus to pass a ez-link card argh... hate it hate it sooo much.. and she was like sooooo not sincere to meet me... haiz.. nvm dont talk abt it..... so mad abt it...
if there's really sum1 who can guide me out by starting ALL over again and yea i really things to happen the way that it is...

Lacking of time...

Yer.. my blog kinda sad... and so what.. time jus tick tocks down every moments... time wait for no man... time dun wait for us... yer life still goes on but what can we do huh?? life kinda boring sucks getting the same thing over and over again... character cant change much although i told myself wanna change but takes how long?? it takes ages and ages and AGES to changes... getting tired to this... not easy to change my character....nope kinda difficult...

haiz.... i m really lost dosent know what to do... really wish sum1 who can really understand me to be my partner and lead me the way out to change the way that it is but I dont think thats possible... not able to happened things like that..

Everything has Changed

If u really one day u could turn back the clock once.... jus once... what will u do???
Will u undo everything and makes things rite?? Or u choose not to turn back the clock and let it go jus like that?? As for me i will turn it back and make things/stuff which is right for me to do...
kinda dont understand?? its okie...things are jus changing every now and then
life at times getting tougher and tougher not gonna be easier and easier.... living in this world was like all alone.....

Donno what should i do??

Its kinda tired that i keep thinking the same flash over and over again... its kinda bad memory... its jus keeps flashing back... jus couldnt 4get wat is happening... many things jus happen in a quick second,getting tiredness... i really donno what i should do.... i really dont wanna to this anymore... its very frustrating and kidna irritating....My family jus dont understand me... what they do they might think is rite unlike for me, what i done is right, they think its a huge mistake for them...
i really wish i can be all alone... living in this world kinda sucks... i m thinking like ya know living in this world like wasting the resources and natural resources.... i really donno how should i live on....
Getting bad images(looks) of myself where no 1 wants... bad attitude... really donno how to change it..... argh...kinda hate myself.... -.- had so much pressure when thinking abt the past... haizzz

心里的密密

Haiz... everytime start the word with haiz... dunno what to say .... People in my family i jus hate them..... how i wish i can really distorts with them especially my sis... She dont understand me at all
NO.... never... She just know how to "step yi ge" only.... she was also like kinda busybody which is i dont like... She most of the times wanna interferring my converasation with my mother... so busybody i mean yea at times i m like talk at my loud of my voices but so... although it irritates her but she could jus listen out of it i jus dont like it when sum1 inteferring it.... argh!! i jus dont the feeling of that.... Hmfff.... If i really have the money..... i mean really lots i will move out of the house or i will go out of country like taiwan to breath in fresh air..... jus dont wanna stay in this home... they dont really talk to me, what i do is jus an eyesore to them... i mean what is this?? i m like been hurting though.... no.. i dont wanna this kind of feeling... so sad... my sis keeps telling my mother say i have illness ask me go see doctor... i mean physiatrist....i dont seem i need do.. but the reason why she says that is becoz i m been a nuisance in the house and she dont like it... she dont wanna me to raise voice at my mother...
And sometimes i do thing improper i mean like when things dont go my way i jus been getting angry for example.. if my pc spoiled or the connection kinda stuff i will like u know threw things around and what i really dont like was if middle of the night when things happen which is the pc down or so.. i made create voice yea i know i m disturbing but thats the way i m i just cant control myself and yea parents came in but if my sis interrfering i will like getting moer angrier and i was like quarrel with her wanna threw things kinda stuff... i mean when sum1 angry u dont go and provoke it but she was like u know keeps coming though it was my mistake for doign that but if i were her i will jus keep quiet manz...
Really... ppl in my family things i m ke siao or mad aready but i m not OK?? why was it me?? why do they wanna blame me.. i was like wtf?? i dont live in this agonying world... I really wanna be all alone... jus all alone... where no 1 hears me... had lots of money(kinda in my dream) then do watever i want i mean like staying in a house all alone.. do watever i want.. peacfully... then giv money to my mother every month kinda stuff... but watever it is no ones... no ones really knows my feeling until i tell them... no ones ever know what ami thinking.... they jus think that i m u kno wthat kind of person(sheng jing you wen ti) de person.. but I M NOT.......
heart kinda pain very pain... How i wish i wouldnt live in this world then no 1 will care abt me... i would rather jus died rite?? hmm....i really dunno what i should do..... wanna cry liao but cant cry out coz i really feel the pain inside me manz....
sniff....(0_-) how i wish they really can understand me what i feel what i think everything and not go round telling people that "my son bla bla bla" or " my brother did this and that kinda stuff" is that wat sister do?? i dont think so... so sad... kinda hurts... really hope i dont have a sister... really....

Tiring...

Haiz... one week has gone so fast and my one week leave has jus gone like that jus like that.... omg....days jus fly so fast like a brink of an eyes... manz...
Yesterday when gg out, i was like almost get fight with my friend coz before that were at bugis gg to town area but i spoke out something say that "hey u talk cok only la... say want go aljunied" after which he respond soemthing say "wah lao actaully i dont want to go de, wanted to go town but becoz of wat he say arh,okie lo i go.." but then he went to the places...
In the train friend talk bad about me.... which kinda hurting la.. then i was like wanna hit him.. then when they reached aljunied.. they only walk one round of the place eg. a letter of U then walk back to the mrt station.. then at the plateform.. i talk to him... and he was like talk reasonable thingy.. say i couldnt take jokes... but if jokes have to see wat kinda jokes u wanna talk abt it...not everything u say is a cracking jokes.... (dont understand nvm) but after all was very tiring all day yesterday... startup with waking up ard 7:30-7:45am then going out like 11:30am-3:45am coz watching the late night soccer... manz.. very tiring...haiz......
wanna half dead soon.... zzzz

What in the world is this going on??

What the hell?? Yeah i didnt go for work for 1 week and today i went to clementi to have lunch with my friends.. and they told me something which i dont wanna hear... what is this?? Why he wanna backstab me?? Wanna say things/stuff, pls say it infront of me manz, talk itin my face... dont talk behind me... Watever reason that he was going to tell me jus dont speak ill of me...

i mean i CAN take it if u say it in my face or infront of me... do u really have to backstab people like this??

Like my friend told me somthing kinda funny... he said that how he wish the boss is hit by lorry, and he will clapped his hands say yea u die i very happy... and if die ar... i will step on u... "step step step" then spit saliva on him "KORAI... pui pui pui" then put onion all over his body, then disfigure his face until no one resemble his face... then put "shit" on top of his body then burn.....

hahahaha

It sound kinda funny but yea also kinda bad la... But ta... i really dont like the boss style la.. as for me... he was like kinda waste the natural resoures to this world la... dunno how to explain but i think u know what i mean la....
Although he is a malay guy ar... but ta pls.. dont do things behind ppl back manz... i mean u r really watsing natrual resources and i dont think he should born to his world manz... well i respect him is becoz of his rank not because of who he is...
Even that time i couldnt find the air-con controller which is actually beside the door which i cant see until i call people and ask then i know where the HECK the "item" is and he tell the office people(which is my working area office) and others stuff... haiz... i really dont know what is he thinking manz... argh....
OMG!!!!

There's up and down in life

haiz...
In a short time many things happend...

Jus like i m staying home for a week, knowing that nothing had happen in there

but days ago i heard my friends told me that quite a couple of things happened which i dont know... and i was like wat the hell..

like First, wearing half-u to become Full U~~... wat is this??

Secondly, if whoever come late to work will cut by their edo(extra duty office hours)

Thirdly, do not sleep when u are slacking or doing nothing inside office.. omg

haiz... things jus happend in a quick while....

There's a gal telling me that to be somebody u have to be happy always and not carry a sad face or kinda of emo type ya know what i mean

And tell me how to be happy?? Dont tell me that if u r down as in sad... and u maintain the happy way as it is??? i dont think so rite?? Well mayb i put it in a wrong way of saying or mayb i dont know how to explain it...

Nvm.... I think that's all i have to say

OMG!! WHY THE BLOG DOING HERE!!

Haiz... what the hell..what is this manz... went out to town then last min his gf come... and it was like so sianz although 4 ppl include me lah... then at first was like very enjoying lo.. then halfway thru.. wah lao.. sianz de loh.. had to walk their pace... their speed at a distance
cant walk too fast or too slow... sianz manz....
then went back home wanna relax de... then i had this infomation from sum1 keep asking me to write more, then i was like wth... norhing to write lo... ecxpect me to write wat?? haiz....
so sad... onli 4 blog haiz... i started my 1 week leave dunno do wat... friend "pian wo" coz nv called me... hmm.. i going to wack him when playing badminton.... haha i make sure i smack manz.......

Finally!!

Yay manz... finally... finally its friday.... woohoo
i get my one week leave.... haha stay at home sleep....
then tonite staying at home slack.. resting... nice la... woohooo...
haiz... dunno wat to write leh... um... there are many things happens ina quick time in life... things u never know what might happen after next.... some people there haven even settle down yet but they intend or ALREADY married... haiz.. i wonder how bad their lifes is...
hmffff...... :(

My first Blogger

Things happened so far.. many things have happened in a blink of an eyes...
kinda felt a lil sad, moody.. dunno what to say.. mayb i shoudlnt let any1 know abt what i write i mean my blog side and yea or mayb to my best trusted friends i guess...
So fast a year and 9 months had past so fast... People always say days are hard to past.. well as for me sometimes kinda fast sometimes kinda slow... i had fancy a girl recently, though i told her that i like her but then i had a feeling the ending alwasy ended up the same... i jus dont wanna be that.... haiz... nvm.. u never know my feeling... very harted....kinda pain...

Haiz

haiz.. this is my first blogger here but will try to write more on here
so long....